Title: Low
Author: Froxyn
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Timeline: Pick a time,
completely AU.
Synopsis: After three
months, Giles lets it be known that he needs more.
Author’s Note: Album
fic. Song and lyrics can be found here.
Giles grabbed Buffy’s hands as
she pulled at his shirt. She looked up
at him and raised an eyebrow.
“Any reason why you’re making
this harder than it needs to be?”
Giles sighed and let go of her
hands as he took a step back. “I can’t
do this.”
“We’ve been doing this
for three months. If you can’t do it, I
would’ve thought you would’ve mentioned that a while back.”
“We…are in a very grey area at
the moment, Buffy.” He said softly,
running his left hand through his hair.
“I’m not sure it was ever as black and white as you imagined it would
be.”
“Giles…”
“We have sex because you think
that a relationship wouldn’t work.”
Giles shook his head as he rebuttoned his shirt. “And I went along with it…because I needed
you as much as you needed me.”
She tilted her head
slightly. “You don’t need me anymore?”
“I need you…to see the colors
around you.”
She narrowed her eyes in
confusion. “What?”
“Everything’s not black and
white, Buffy. And I’m getting tired of
the grey.” He sighed heavily and sat
down on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees. “I need color…I need you…in color.”
“Um…”
Knowing she wasn’t following
him, he rubbed his eyes and then looked at her. “Plain and simple. I want
you in my life.”
“I am.” She replied, sitting down next to him. “I mean…we sleep together nearly every
night…how much more in your life do you want me to be?”
“You…have commitment issues.”
Buffy stared at him. “Yeah, that kinda comes from having my first
serious boyfriend turn evil…and then my second leaving me to go hunt demons in
some jungle.”
“And I have never left your
side.” Giles whispered, staring right
back at her.
“You want a commitment?” She asked in a surprised tone.
“I want you to look…really look
at me…and tell me what you see.”
“I see Giles. Watcher Extraordinaire…”
He gave a frustrated groan and
stood up, pacing as he rubbed the side of his neck. She watched him for a few seconds and then sighed.
“Guess that was the wrong
answer.”
He stopped and stared at
her. “I look at you and I see
passion…red and hot. I see joy…yellow
and bright. I see the sadness…blue and
sequestered away. I see that…and so
much more. I see you. And all you see is ‘Watcher Extraordinaire’? Yes, I would say that would be the wrong
answer.”
Her eyes glistened as she
lowered them from his glare. “I see the
colors surrounding you…they just scare me.”
“Scare…” He furrowed his brow, moving quickly to
kneel in front of her. “What do you see,
Buffy?”
“Greens, purples…oranges.”
He gently tilted her head up to
look into her eyes. “Now…why do those
colors scare you?”
“Because they make me want to
give you everything.” She whispered as
a tear rolled down her cheek. “And if I
do…”
“You’re worried I’ll leave
you.” He sighed softly as she
nodded. “Buffy…the colors you see…if
anything, they should be telling you that I’m staying, that my place is with
you.”
“Huh?”
He moved to sit beside of her on
the couch and held her hands between his as he gazed into her eyes. “Green…calm and stability.”
“I thought it meant jealousy.”
He smiled softly and
nodded. “That’s one of the many
meanings. Also, renewal, growth, youth,
vigor…”
She snorted as she pulled her
left hand free and wiped her cheek.
“Vigor…well, that definitely fits.”
He cleared his throat and
continued. “Purple…”
“Royalty. You’re like a King of somewhere, aren’t
you?”
“Yes. You’ve figured everything out.”
He chuckled. “Sensuality,
mystery, wisdom…”
“Xander always hated purple.” Buffy blurted.
“Mm…I can understand that.” At her questioning look, he smiled. “Bisexuality is also a meaning.”
“You think he’ll ever tell us?”
Giles thought for a moment and
then nodded slowly. “When he’s ready,
yes.”
“Does that describe you too?”
He smiled and shook his
head. “Not as such.” When she raised an eyebrow, he gave her a
wink. “That’s for another time. Suffice to say, you are in no danger of
losing me to another man. Now, orange…”
He glanced at her lips and
swallowed. “Desire, balance.”
“Giles…”
He stared into her eyes and
breathed a heavy sigh. “You’re looking
too hard for perfect love…and not hard enough for real love. Perfect love doesn’t exist. Look in front of you…Christ, Buffy…see
the love in front of you.”
Buffy took a deep breath and
exhaled shakily. “You want a
commitment.”
“It’s not that simple.” He whispered. “God, how I wish it were.”
“Does one of those colors mean
confusion? ‘Cause, I gotta say…you’re really
good at that.”
“I see so many colors swirling
around you. But, what I want is right
in the middle.”
“And that would be?”
“You, Buffy.” He lifted his hand and brushed the backs of
his fingers across her cheek. “But,
you’re too scared to let me near you.”
“See…relationships, I never get
them right.” She whispered, lowering
her eyes.
He ducked his head to recapture
her eyes. “You might…if you give
yourself the chance.”
“Giles…”
“Give us a chance, Buffy. Let go of the monochrome and embrace the
color.” He shrugged as she lifted her
head and arched an eyebrow at him.
“Well, that sounded much less, um…stupid…in my head.”
“You sounded like a Kodak
commercial.”
He smiled as she laughed
softly. “I suppose so.”
Her laughter ebbed as she
nervously chewed on her bottom lip.
“I’m scared.”
“I know.” He replied, leaning forward and brushing his
lips over hers. “But, this…what we’re
doing now…it isn’t healthy for either one of us. Please, just…try.”
“It might take a while for me to
get the hang of it.” She whispered,
kissing him back warmly. “But, I want
to try…”
“Good.” He murmured, deepening the kiss.
He felt her fingers work on the
buttons of his shirt. He nearly stopped
her again, but then he felt the passion she was putting into the kiss. It was different this time. Just a small step, but a step forward
nonetheless.
And so…he didn’t stop her. Not when he could feel the brown weaving
through their respective colors…pulling them closer together.
Nothing had ever been black and
white for the two of them…but, now the shades of grey they had been living in
were melting into color. And for the
first time in a very long time, he could feel the colors touching Buffy…as
opposed to just circling her.
~ End