Title: Twisted Logic
Author: Froxyn
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Timeline: S4, AU. Buffy and Riley were never together.
Synopsis: Buffy tries to
explain the difference between her and Faith.
Author’s Note: Album
fic. Song and lyrics can be found here.
“So…she slept with Riley?” Willow asked, eyes wide.
Buffy nodded as she took a sip
of her coffee. “Yeah, um…which is just weird.”
“Well, yeah. I mean…he knows about you and Giles, right?”
“Mm-hm.” She placed her mug on the table and
sighed. “Guess that didn’t matter to
him, though. I hope his nose will heal
straight…I didn’t mean to break it.”
Willow chuckled softly. “I shouldn’t laugh, because…he thought she
was you and he’s had a crush on you for a while now…”
“Yeah, I feel bad about
it.”
A thought crossed Willow’s mind
and her smile faded. “Why do you think
Faith is the way she is?”
“Because she’s psychotic.” Buffy answered, glancing at her watch and
then looking towards the door.
“No, I mean…why do you think
she’s psychotic? What happened to her?”
Buffy sighed, giving Giles a
small wave when he walked through the door.
“She didn’t have a Giles to ground her.”
Giles smiled and quickly made
his way over towards them.
“Ground her?” Willow asked in a puzzled tone.
“Yeah…” Buffy scooted over in the booth, just enough
to give him some room. She smiled at
him as he slid in beside of her. “Hey.”
“Hello.” He glanced down at her hand, lifting it to
inspect her knuckles. “The bruising has
already started to dissipate.”
“Mm-hm, Slayer healing. Yay me.”
She stated brightly, leaning over to place a soft kiss on his cheek.
“What do you mean ‘ground
her’?” Willow asked again, smiling at
Giles as he turned his attention to her.
“Hi, Giles.”
“Hello, Willow.” Giles smiled warmly, lacing his fingers with
Buffy’s. “What’s this about the
ground?”
“Oh…” Buffy pushed the sugar bowl towards Giles as the waitress
appeared with another cup of coffee.
“Willow was asking what I thought turned Faith into a complete psycho
and I said it was because she didn’t have you there to ground her.”
When Giles gave a nod as he tore
open two packets of sugar, Buffy looked across the table to Willow. “It’s because of him…and the way we are with
each other…that I’m who I am. I
could’ve easily been Faith.”
Willow furrowed her brow. “And what if Faith and Giles…you know…”
Giles coughed quickly and shook
his head. “Ah, no. What Buffy means is that she and I bonded…as
Watcher and Slayer…long before we became intimate. We…compliment and stabilize one another. It happens rarely that a Watcher has such a
bond with his or her Slayer.”
Buffy arched an eyebrow. “Her Slayer?”
Giles rolled his eyes. “Bonding doesn’t necessarily lead to
intimacy. However, I’m sure that it has
happened once or thrice in the past…after all, homosexuality has existed as
long as humans have roamed the Earth.”
Willow shook her head in
amusement and tried to redirect the conversation. “So…having Giles as your Watcher kept you from slipping to the
dark side…”
Buffy lowered her eyes, as well
as her voice. “It almost didn’t. I almost followed her…”
“But, you didn’t.” Giles stated softly, giving her hand a light
squeeze.
“It was close, Giles. And…it didn’t help matters when I stabbed
her.”
“You did what was necessary,
love.”
“I just wanted everything to
stop. I mean…I had her pulling me one
way, Angel pulling another, and there you were…right in the middle.”
He smiled softly and tilted her
head up to look into her eyes. “I was
where you needed me to be.”
Buffy nodded and smiled before
turning her eyes back to Willow. “And that’s what I mean about him grounding me
and not grounding her. No matter what
was going on…he was right there next to me.
Right where I needed him to be.”
“Oh…” Willow whispered, understanding finally.
“Unfortunately, Faith wasn’t
assigned to a Watcher who would be able to harness her energy. Rebellion is not a bad trait…if it can be
harnessed.”
“It took a lot of twists and
turns in my life for me to realize what was going on.” Buffy said with a small smile. “And I went through the whole one step
forward, three steps back thing. And I
had to work through a lot of twisted logic to get to where I was taking three
steps forward and one step back.”
“Twisted logic?” Willow asked, tilting her head slightly.
“Yeah, you know…the sun rises
everyday but one day it rises and it’s different…you actually see for the first
time what’s always been there. And then
after you go through the whole being angry with yourself for not seeing it for
so long, you give in…and happiness finally finds you. It’s all about twisted logic.”
Willow nodded slowly. “Well, that was…”
“Confusing?” Buffy grinned as Willow nodded. “That’s the beauty of it…it twists around
itself over and over…until it finally makes sense. But, you can’t force it…it just has to be.”
Willow glanced at Giles and
narrowed her eyes when she noticed his expression. “What’s wrong, Giles?”
“Hm? Oh…nothing.” He chuckled
softly. “I was just thinking that this
entire conversation embodies the actual idea of twisted logic.”
“Huh?” Buffy asked as she looked at him.
“It makes very little sense at
first. But, then it starts to weave…and
things suddenly become a little clearer.”
He smiled and gave her a wink.
“I find it interesting. However,
I’m still unsure as to how the conversation began.”
“Oh…we were talking about how
Faith slept with Riley while she was in my body and then Riley kissed me later
and…” She trailed off and raised her free hand to the side of his face as his
eyes darkened. “Hey…it wasn’t me.”
“She used you…to use him. And now he’s confused because he thought it
was you and – ”
“It’s all about twisted logic,
Giles.” Buffy whispered softly, leaning
up to kiss his warm lips. “Don’t think
about it. It was Faith he slept with…not
me. If he had known, maybe he wouldn’t
have. I mean…you didn’t…”
Willow’s eyes widened. “You wanted him to sleep with you while you
were in Faith’s body?”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “You had to put it that way, didn’t
you? No…but, I was scared that I
wouldn’t get back…and…I thought that I was going to lose my boyfriend…”
Giles groaned softly and Buffy
laughed.
“I’ve told you…it doesn’t matter
how old you are, you’re still my boyfriend.”
Willow looked at Giles and took
a deep breath. “But, you couldn’t?”
“I wouldn’t.” Giles clarified. “She was still Buffy, but…I didn’t want Faith’s hands touching me…and
I didn’t want to look into Faith’s eyes as we…um…”
A shy smile appeared on Giles’
face. “But, I would have. If we hadn’t been able to switch them back,
I would have. Because she was still the
woman I love. It would have taken a
while for my mind to readjust, but…it’s Buffy I’m in love with…not the blonde
hair or the hazel eyes…or the firm…”
He blushed lightly as he stopped
himself. Buffy laughed and let go of
his hand, moving hers to his thigh and gently squeezing. Willow’s smile finally reappeared,
understanding finally taking hold in her mind.
“Twisted logic…”
Giles nodded and took a sip of
his coffee.
~ End