Title: On the Mend
Author: Froxyn
Show: Doctor Who
Pairing: Rose/Ten
Rating: FRT
Timeline: Not long after Fear Her.
Synopsis: Rose has questions that the Doctor doesn’t
want to answer.
Author’s
Note: Thanks to fairygothmum. A venture into a new pairing isn’t easy…but
she made it a bit better.
Rose sat in the
jumpseat with her feet propped on the console…positioned carefully as to not
accidentally bump any of the controls.
She had a magazine open and resting on her thighs, but her eyes were
focused on the hole in the floor next to her.
She huffed in slight amusement as she listened to him ramble
incessantly, the hum of his screwdriver just barely audible.
He’d been down there
for the better part of two hours. And
she knew that he was avoiding her.
A few days earlier,
he had let it slip. She was sure he
hadn’t even meant to say it. I was a dad once. To say it had surprised her would be an understatement…it
had shocked her. She had never really
thought about what his life was like on Gallifrey before the war.
And now she wanted
nothing more than to learn more about it.
But, he was avoiding her and her questions…preferring to spend his time
looking for a non-existent problem with the TARDIS. And so, here she sat…carefully avoiding any
control that might cause the TARDIS to lurch into action, a forgotten magazine
on her thighs, and more questions than answers racing through her head.
Suddenly her decision
was made and she tossed the magazine to the side.
“Doctor?”
“Ah-HA!” The Doctor exclaimed, pulling out a spring
and grabbing a pair of pliers. “I knew
I’d find it! I’m surprised that you
hadn’t noticed it.”
“Doctor…” Rose sighed, staring at the top of his head
peeking out from the open grate in the floor.
“The constant squeak,
grind, plunk, clink…it was driving me mad!”
He jumped out of the hole and sat on the grate, giving her a quick
glance. “Well, madder than my normal
madness. I’m perfectly aware that I’m
mad on any given day…but, this
madness…well, I’d bet our next flight that it’s all to do with this spring.”
“Doctor…”
“A little twist here,
a clip here and the noise should just be…kaput!” He grinned and twisted the end of the
spring. “Where do you want to – ”
Frustrated, Rose
lowered her feet from the console and leaned forward…knees on her elbows. “Why are you ignoring me?”
“ – go next? I was thinking about taking you to
Whister. They have beaches there…” He paused and tilted his head. “Well, when I say beaches, I mean sand…but,
there is water. I guess those would be more oases than
beaches…”
Hearing Rose groan,
he sighed and offered her another glance before putting a crimp on the other
end of the spring. “I’m not ignoring
you.”
“Oh?” She asked in a completely disbelieving tone.
“You said my name
three times, each time with increased annoyance…and then you asked why I’m
ignoring you…to which I answered, I’m not ignoring you. See?”
“But, you’re avoiding
me.” She stated quietly after a moment.
“Not you.” He responded, turning his attention back to
the spring. “Your questions. You want to ask questions that I’d prefer not
to answer.”
“Doctor…”
“Look!” He grinned, holding the repaired spring up
for her inspection. “All fixed…no more
squeaking, grinding, plunking, clinking noises for her now!”
Rose stared at him,
not really caring at all about the spring or whatever imaginary noises he was
eliminating by fixing the spring. He gave
her a boyish grin and slid back down into the hole.
“We can be in Whister
by lunchtime.”
Rose rolled her eyes
and climbed out of the jumpseat.
“Whatever.”
The Doctor’s head
popped out of the hole just in time to see Rose storm down the hallway. He opened his mouth to call her name, but
then thought better of it. He sighed
heavily when he heard the door to her room slam shut.
Maybe it was more
than just the spring, after all…
* * *
He had given her some
time. Truth be told, he’d given them both
some time. He understood her frustration
and had waited over an hour before even contemplating walking down the
hall. He’d spent the time sitting on the
jumpseat, staring at the controls…and thinking.
He had made his final
decision three different times. And of
course, each of those different times concluded with a different decision. No one had ever made him question himself as
much as she did. Then again…no one
else’s emotions had ever affected him the way hers did.
He breathed a heavy
sigh and made a fourth decision before climbing out of the jumpseat and
flipping a lever to make sure the TARDIS took care of them for the
evening. Sliding his hands into his
pockets, he started the walk towards Rose’s room…a walk that seemed to take
three times as long as it normally did.
He paused only
briefly in front of her room before lifting his hand, allowing his knuckles to
rap lightly against the door. “Rose?”
Hearing her sigh of
resignation, he swallowed and tried again.
“Rose, please…can we talk?”
To that question, he
heard her huff…but he also heard her voice.
“We can, but will you?”
His fingers curled
around the doorknob, twisting it before he pushed the door open. His decision had been made, but when he met
her eyes…red-rimmed eyes that were still damp with tears that had obviously
been shed at some point during their time apart…he changed his mind again.
Without saying a
word, he stepped into her room and sat down on the edge of her bed. He waited until she closed the book that he
was sure she hadn’t read one word of and then he turned to face her.
“I was the third of
four children born into my family.” He
started, pausing as she pushed herself up and rested her back against the
headboard of her bed. “My sister used to
make crowns out of the silver leaves when they fell from the trees…said I was
the Prince of Gallifrey.”
A small smile played
at the corner of his mouth as he continued, turning his gaze to the wall. “Never the King, always the Prince.”
Rose bit her lip,
partly to keep herself from asking any questions and partly to keep her tears
at bay. She sat still, her eyes trained
on him…waiting for him to continue.
“Life was
beautiful. I argued with my brothers,
rebelled against my father…did as my mother asked.” He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily,
realizing that he had already told her more about himself than he’d told anyone
before.
And it felt
good. It felt right.
“And then…centuries
ago…she chose me. The twin suns hung
high in the sky on the day we were married.
The highest I’d ever seen them…or maybe I’d just never noticed how high
they sat in the sky. Doesn’t matter…not
now…”
Rose wanted to reach
out to touch him, especially when she saw his jaw clench. But, this was him wanting, maybe needing, to talk…and she worried that
any movement or sound from her would distract him. So, she remained still.
“Then the war
came…and there were no more crowns of silver leaves, there was no more Prince
of Gallifrey. My oldest brother died in
battle…and the second escaped, only to die much later in a different solar
system altogether. Had changed his name
to Irving. Irving, of all names.” The
Doctor chuckled softly, running his hand through his hair as his chuckle ended
and more memories flooded his mind.
“My wife said that
our daughter looked like me…though I’m not sure which version of me. But,
she was beautiful…dark brown eyes, hair the color of spun toffee. And a smile that…” The Doctor paused, staring down at his hands as
a tear escaped from the corner of his left eye.
The tear was more
than Rose could take and she reached out to touch his shoulder. At her touch, he closed his eyes.
“They all died. My sister, my wife, my daughter…my unborn
son…all massacred in front of me because I refused to help the Daleks.”
“Doctor…” Rose whispered, moving to sit next to him as
she took his hand into hers.
“And then I ended the
war.” He stated, slowly turning his head
to meet her eyes. “Gallifrey and Skaro
burned…because of my rage.”
“I’m sorry,
Doctor. I’m so sorry…”
“I was a dad
once.” He swallowed thickly as another
tear streamed down his face. “And I was
a good dad. I just couldn’t save her…I
tried. I tried to save all of them, but
I lost them all. And now…I’m the last of
the Time Lords. But, I remember what it
was like to have a family.”
Rose was lost for
words, her eyes wide…sad and wet with tears.
And she felt even worse knowing that she had basically forced him into
talking about it…when he obviously wasn’t ready to discuss it just yet.
He read that thought
as it ghosted in her eyes, a brief smile appearing on his lips as he reached up
and cupped her cheek in his warm palm.
“Thank you,
Rose.” When she furrowed her brow in
confusion, he rubbed his thumb over her skin and continued. “I may have thought I wasn’t ready…but, I
think I needed to tell someone. And if
there’s one person I could tell, it’s you…it’s you, Rose.”
“You can tell me
anything, Doctor.” Rose whispered,
gently pulling his hand from her face and lacing their fingers together.
He nodded slowly,
squeezing her fingers between his. “I
know.”
He offered her a sad
smile…the same sad smile that he’d give her each time he’d proclaim that he was
alright, when he obviously wasn’t. He
cleared his throat and lifted his free hand to the back of his head, lightly
scratching his scalp.
“I’m not alright this
time, Rose. I will be…but, right
now…I…” He closed his eyes for a moment
and exhaled a deep breath. “Would you
mind very much if I take you to Whister tomorrow?”
“What?” She asked, having forgotten all about the
destination to which he had earlier seemed rather keen to take her.
He opened his eyes
and glanced over at her. “I’d love to
watch you in the sand…and Whister is so very beautiful. But…I think what I’m trying to ask is…would
you mind if I stay? With you? Tonight, I mean…I don’t think – ”
“Of course, you
can.” She answered with no
hesitation. “For as long as you want.”
He watched as she
moved over on the bed, his eyes moving to her hand as she gently patted the
mattress. He twisted his body around and
lay down, resting his head on her pillow as he rolled onto his side to face
her.
She lowered herself
down next to him, reaching over to loosen his tie before gently stroking the
side of his face. Their eyes met and he
inhaled deeply, curling his right arm under his head as he stared at her.
“I’d like to kiss
you, you know.”
She smiled and wiped
the back of her hand over her watery eyes.
“I know now…and I know we shouldn’t.
Not right now.”
“Later?” He asked, a hint of hope in his tone.
She couldn’t help but
grin at him, giving him a nod as she moved closer and snuggled against his
chest. “Later.”
Wrapping his arms around
her, he pressed a soft kiss into her hair and sighed.
He felt a sense of
relief. The weight that he’d carried on
his shoulders for ages had lessened somewhat.
He thought of his little girl’s smile and couldn’t stop his own smile from
forming. For the first time in
centuries…possibly the first time since the war…he thought of his family and
felt peace intermingled with his guilt.
He wasn’t sure he’d
ever be able to fully alleviate the guilt, but he could think of those he’d
lost and smile. That had to be a step in
the right direction. And he knew that he
owed it all to Rose. If not for Rose, he
–
“Doctor?” Rose interrupted his thoughts.
“Yeah?” He responded, lightly stroking her back.
“Please stop
thinking…”
He chuckled softly
and held her closer, inadvertently slipping his left knee between her legs as
he shifted slightly. “Yes…quite
right...”
She snorted and
curled her fingers in the soft fabric of his shirt. She felt him relax and allowed the sound of
his hearts beating rhythmically to lull her to sleep.
Her last thought was
that they had taken a huge step today…and hoped that they could take a bigger
one soon. He smiled silently,
accidentally reading that thought as he brushed his fingers through her hair.
“Soon.” He whispered, allowing her warmth to pull him
into slumber with her.
The TARDIS continued
to hum…no more squeaking, grinding, plunking, clinking. Everything was on the mend now.
~ End