Title:
Flare
Author: Froxyn
Rating: FRAO
Pairing: Buffy/Giles
Synopsis: Buffy’s temper gets the best of her when Giles states that he
should leave Sunnydale.
His head was tilted down, his eyes staring into hers. His breath
quickened, her hands lingering on the lapels of his leather jacket for far too
long. He noticed that the anger had suddenly left her eyes, being
replaced by…
His mouth
was suddenly dry, a lump forming in his throat. Surely he was misreading
her. Or maybe it was a simple case of transference. Seeing his
emotions in her eyes, and not her own. He gasped lightly as her fingers
tightly gripped the soft leather.
“Buffy?”
She stared
into his eyes a moment longer before releasing her hold and giving him a slight
push backward. His heart dropped as her eyes cleared of the emotion he
had wanted to believe was there, leaving only the glistening of unshed tears.
She
diverted her eyes from him before she spoke. There was no anger in her
voice, only resignation.
“Why?”
His hand
trembled slightly as he reached up to wipe a tear that had spilled onto her
cheek. He dropped it slowly as she turned away from him before he could
touch her.
“Buffy, I…”
“Don’t.
Just…don’t. Don’t make this harder than it already is.” Her back
was to him, but he knew she was crying. “You’re leaving. And…there
is nothing I can do about it.”
He took a
deep breath as he took a step forward, almost wishing she was still screaming
at him. His heart crumbled at the thought of his Slayer crying because of
something he had said.
He cleared
his throat softly, hoping to get the words out before she interrupted him again.
“Buffy, I
never said that I was leaving. I said…”
He inhaled
quickly in frustration as she whirled around, the anger back in her blue
eyes. “I heard what you said! And you sure as hell didn’t say ‘Hey,
I think I’ll stay here in Sunnydale for a few more years’, did you?”
He winced
as her voice rose. “Please, calm…”
She took a
step forward quickly, a finger pointed at his chest, her eyes dark with
rage. “Don’t you dare say calm down. I swear, if you say that I
will knock you into the next room.”
His eyes
narrowed slightly, anger sparking in his green irises. “Calm down.”
The words
were said deliberately, in defiance of her furious request. Without
thinking, she swung her leg into a quick roundhouse. Her foot made
contact with his sternum, the air rushing from his lungs as he fell through the
open doorway behind him. His head struck the floor with a sickening
crack. He was aware of one last thought before he fell into darkness.
‘She
really did knock me into the next room.’
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
She
realized what she had done as soon as it happened.
“Giles!”
She ran
quickly to his side, wincing at the sound of his head hitting the floor.
“Oh God, Giles! Open your eyes! Come on, don’t do this to me!”
She felt
for a pulse, exhaling quickly when she found one. She carefully ran her
fingers over his head and down his neck, feeling for any obvious
injuries. She studied her fingers as she pulled them away from his
neck.
“No blood,
that’s good. Giles?”
She placed
her hand tenderly on his sternum, a tear falling down her cheek as she felt his
chest rise as he inhaled.
“It
doesn’t feel broken or anything. Come on Giles, wake up. Please?”
He opened
his eyes, quickly shutting them against the bright light filtering into the
training room.
“Giles!
Are you okay?”
Hearing
the panic in her voice, he re-opened his eyes and grimaced as he pushed himself
up. “I’m fine.”
“Shouldn’t
you lay down? I mean, what if your neck is broken, or your back, or…”
He
interrupted her with a soft chuckle, which ended abruptly when he winced and
clenched his hand in a tight fist. “My neck is not broken, Buffy.
Nor is my back. A rib or two, possibly. But, I’ll live.”
“Your
head. It cracked…”
“I’m
rather sure it was the floor that cracked. Not my head.” He lifted
his hand and gingerly placed it on the back of his head before holding it out
for her to see. “No blood. No crack. I’m okay.”
“But…you
were…unconscious…”
He placed
his hand on his chest, pushing slightly against his sternum to ease the
pain. “Yes, and that’s never happened before.”
Her eyes
fell to his hand on his chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
He looked
up at her, a gentle smile tugging at his lips. “I know.”
The words
were simple, and simply stated. She met his eyes, hers filled with concern
at the way his face showed the pain as he inhaled.
“We need
to get you to the hospital, Giles.”
He nodded
slowly. “Probably. I’m quite sure that I should see a
doctor.” He registered the worry in her eyes. “But, I’m okay,
Buffy. I’m going to be just fine.”
She
sniffed back a fresh onslaught of tears and slipped her arm around him.
“I’ll help you up.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
He
carefully slid into the passenger seat of his car, his ribs firmly taped in
place. He offered his Slayer a smile as she climbed behind the steering
wheel.
“Buffy?”
She turned
the ignition, looking at him as the car roared to life. “Are you in pain?”
His smile
widened. “No, no pain at the moment. Just…could you not drive as
fast this time?”
For the
first time in hours, she smiled. And for the first time in days, she
laughed. It was music to his ears. His teeth clamped down on his
tongue, biting back the words that almost escaped. He leaned his head
back onto the headrest and closed his eyes.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Feeling a
hand brush across his left hip, he opened his eyes to find a smiling Buffy
leaning over him. “Hey…”
He glanced
around quickly, taking in the surroundings. “Are we home?”
She nodded
as she unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped back to help him out of the
car. “In one piece, even. My driving must not have scared you…you
slept the whole way home.”
“Either
that or Loritab is my new best friend.”
Buffy
laughed and gently eased him onto his feet. She kept her arm around his waist
as they walked to his front door. Flipping through the keys on his key
ring, she quickly found the one she was looking for and slipped it into the
lock.
She
followed him through the door, keeping her arm firmly around him for
support. She got him settled on the couch and took a seat on the coffee
table in front of him.
They were
quiet for several minutes before she took a deep breath and spoke to him softly.
“Giles,
why are you leaving me?”
Slowly, he
inhaled deeply and stared at her. “Buffy, let’s not start this
again. I’m not sure that I can handle another round of getting kicked
through a doorway.”
Her eyes
glistened as she looked away for a minute. Turning back to him, she
sighed. “I’m not going to argue with you. I just want to know why
you’re leaving.”
He
absently licked his lips and nervously ran a hand through his hair. “I’m
not leaving Buffy. What I said…well, it was said in haste. And, I
didn’t say I was leaving. I said that I probably should leave.” He
tilted his head slightly and looked into her eyes. “There is a
difference.”
She
wrapped her arms around herself and slowly nodded her head. “Okay.
But why do you think you should leave?”
He leaned
back into the couch, his eyes never leaving hers. “I…I don’t think we
should have this conversation at this moment.”
Her eyes
widened, her hands falling to her lap. “Giles…”
He shook
his head quickly, a little too quickly he realized too late. His hand
darted out, grabbing onto the armrest of the sofa to steady himself. “No,
Buffy. Neither of us are in a position to have a rational
conversation. I’m…well, I’m not exactly sober. And you…”
He paused,
trying to find the right words as his heart pounded in his chest. “Well,
your emotions are running at a slightly elevated level at the moment.”
His eyes
narrowed in confusion as she started laughing uncontrollably. “Slightly
elevated? Try ‘off the scale’, Giles. You tell me that you’re
leaving…” She shook her head as he tried to interrupt her. “No,
that’s how I heard it then. I know differently now, but not then.
What am I supposed to do without you here? Who is going to keep me
grounded if you’re gone?”
His lips
curled into a half-smile. “I don’t keep you grounded when I am here,
Buffy.”
She stood
up quickly. “Of course you do! Look at me…I’m grounded Buffy.
Feet firmly planted. That’s me.”
He
chuckled softly. “That’s not quite what I meant. You keep yourself
grounded. You have for quite a while now.” His smile slowly faded,
his vision blurring from a thin layer of tears. “I’m very proud of that
fact.”
She sat
back down and folded her hands in her lap. “But, I still need you
Giles. You’re still my Watcher.”
A sad
smile played at his lips. “I haven’t been your Watcher for some time, Buffy.”
“Well,
maybe not officially. But, you still watch over me. Don’t you?”
He
diverted his eyes for a split second and nodded. “That I do.”
She jumped
back up and started pacing across the living room in front of him.
“And…you have the knowledge.” She gestured towards the bookshelves full
of ancient volumes. “And the books. And, you speak like ten
different languages. You can translate anything. I…I have enough
trouble with English. There are times when I don’t even understand you…”
He smiled
in spite of himself and reached up, grasping her arm on her next pass.
“Buffy, please sit back down.”
She did as
he asked and took a deep breath. “I don’t understand why you think you
should probably leave.”
His eyes
closed briefly, the painkillers clearly wearing off. “Buffy, I can’t talk
about this right now.” He rode the wave of pain coursing through him and
then reopened his eyes and looked at her. “I promise you, we will talk
about it. But, I just…I just can’t right now. I’m physically unable
to have this deep of a conversation.”
He could
see when it suddenly clicked in her head as the grimace took over his features
and then float away. “I’m sorry, Giles.” She rummaged through her
bag and pulled out a bottle of pills. “I stopped on the way home and got
your prescription filled.”
He gave
her a brief smile. “That was very kind of you, Buffy.”
She shook
two pills out of the bottle and handed them to him. “I’ll get you some
water.”
“Not
needed.” He popped the pills into his mouth and quickly swallowed
them. He looked towards the stairs that led to his bedroom and
sighed. “I think I’ll just lie here.”
She nodded
silently and helped him get comfortable before pulling off his shoes and
draping a blanket across him. “Do you…would you like me to stay with you?”
His
fingers lightly touched her arm and he offered her a slightly drugged
grin. “I would like that, but it’s completely unnecessary. I’m sure
that you have other things that need to be done.” He yawned as his hand
fell from her arm, struggling to keep his eyes open. “I doubt I’d be much
company anyway.”
She
watched him closely as his eyes fluttered before finally closing in
sleep. She sighed heavily and gently ran her fingers through his
hair.
“I’ll stay.”
She quietly whispered.
He woke up
to a mostly dark room. The only light was the soft flickering of the
television in the corner. He squinted his eyes and slowly pushed himself
up. He stared curiously at the television before turning his head to find
Buffy asleep in the chair beside of the couch.
He smiled
as he stood up, taking the blanket that was covering him and placing it across
her body. He shuffled his way to the bathroom, careful to be as quiet as
he could so that he wouldn’t wake her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
She woke
suddenly, confused by the blanket covering her. “Giles?”
She leaned
forward, suddenly panicked when she realized that he was gone. Then she
heard the running water in the bathroom and slowly relaxed. She sat back
in the chair and yawned, pulling the blanket tighter around her.
She
inhaled deeply, smiling at the distinct scent of Giles wafting around
her. It was a scent that could only be described as ‘Giles’. She
suddenly felt safe and secure, just as she did whenever she was in his presence.
A small
smile formed on her lips at that thought. She wasn’t surprised or
shocked, she had known for a few months that her feelings for her Watcher were
heading in a different direction. She sighed wistfully, a sigh that she
would expect Giles to question if he had heard it, and snuggled deeper under
the blanket.
Hearing
the bathroom door open, she turned her head towards the hallway. Her
heart quickened its pace as he came into view.
“You okay?”
He halted
his movement, clearly startled by her voice. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
She
chuckled softly and shook her head. “No. I was just dozing.
Are you okay?”
“Hm?
Oh, yes. I just…” He motioned towards the bathroom. “Had
to…well…” His eyes darted towards the television. “Why is the
closed captioning turned on?”
She stood
and placed the blanket over the back of the couch. “I thought that if I
turned the volume up I’d wake you, so I read instead.”
“I very
much doubt anything would’ve woken me.”
She
followed him into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he poured two
glasses of orange juice. He turned around to find her standing right
behind him and smiled as he handed her a glass of juice.
“Thank you
for staying.”
She took
the glass from him, her fingers brushing over his. “As if I wouldn’t.”
He cleared
his throat and dropped his hand to his side. “What time is it?”
“A little
after 4 am.”
He nodded
and finished off his juice, placing the empty glass in the sink. “Are you
hungry? I can make you something to eat, if you’d like.”
“Giles,
I’m here to take care of you, not the other way around. If I’m hungry,
I’m more than capable of putting something together.” She placed her
empty glass next to his. “Are you hungry?”
He shook
his head slowly.
She slid
her arm around him and gently ushered him back towards the couch.
“Okay. Do you want to go back to sleep? Do you need more
painkillers?”
He sat
down and shook his head again. “No. And…no. I think I’ve
slept enough and, at the moment, the pain is manageable.”
They were
quiet for several moments. But, it was a comfortable silence.
Comfortable enough that Giles was afraid to say anything at all. Then he
realized that he had to say something.
“Buffy?”
“Hm?”
“The
reason I thought, think…that I should leave…”
She
stopped him quickly, placing her warm hand on his arm. “We don’t have to
do this right now, Giles.”
He placed
his hand over hers, his thumb brushing across the back of her wrist. “I
think we do.”
Buffy
sighed nervously and turned so she was facing him. “I’m not going to like
this, am I?”
Giles took
a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. “Perhaps not. But,
I’m hopeful that you will understand.”
She slowly
removed her hand from his arm. He instantly missed her touch.
“What’s going on, Giles?”
“I,
uh…well, I…I have this situation…” He paused, unsure of what to say next.
She tilted
her head slightly. “Situation? Is that a code word?”
“No, not
exactly.”
“A
situation like you’re in trouble with the mafia? Or the council is
sending their guard dogs after you? Or you’re sick? You’re not
sick, are you?”
His head
tilted down, his chin almost touching his chest as a smile appeared on his
face. “No. No mafia, no guard dogs, no sickness.”
“Okay, so
what kind of sitch would make you think that you should leave Sunnydale?”
He almost
hesitated in his answer, but knew if he did he’d never get it out. “The
kind of situation that involves a woman.”
“A
woman?” She turned her head from him and inhaled deeply. “Oh.”
He sensed
a wave of disappointment wash over her and quickly turned his eyes towards
her. “Buffy…”
She stood
up, ran her fingers through her blond hair. “No, no…I understand.
You probably have a very nice lady waiting for you back in England.” She
swallowed hard and continued to ramble. “Of course she’d have to be very
nice if she’s still waiting for you. I mean, you’ve been here for 4
years. That’s….” She turned and looked into his eyes for the first
time since this conversation started. “That’s devotion. You – ”
He quickly
interrupted her, a smile glinting in his eyes. “She’s not in England,
Buffy.”
“Oh.”
She began pacing again. “Oh…she’s in Sunnydale? I…uh…wow…do I,
uh…do I know her?”
Giles
nodded as he watched her pace back and forth. “You do.”
She
wrapped her arms around herself as she continued to pace. “Oh. So,
uh…do you…are you in…”
“Do I love
her?”
She said
nothing, merely nodded at his question.
“I
do. Very much, I do.”
She turned
her back to him, quickly wiping at her eye. “And, she…she…loves you?”
“Therein
lies the situation.”
She made
her way to the fireplace and lifted her hand, lightly running her fingers along
the frame of a picture on the mantelpiece. “What does that mean?”
He stood
and silently made his way to her. Standing right behind her, he whispered
softly. “It means…I don’t know if you love me.”
Her hand
jerked, knocking the photograph to the floor. She turned slowly, finding
his eyes full of hope and fear.
“Giles?”
Her eyes narrowed in confusion as she stared at him.
He shook
his head sadly and took a step back. “Buffy, I...I’m sorry.”
“Giles...”
She reached out to him as the back of his legs hit the coffee table behind him,
missing as he lost his balance and stumbled backwards. “Giles!”
He groaned
as the pain shot through him, the stabbing sensation in his chest taking his
breath as he hit the floor. “Bloody...hell...”
She was at
his side in an instant, crouching beside him with her hand on his
shoulder. “Giles, are you okay?”
“Did...you
kick me again?” He asked slowly as his body slumped to the floor.
She stared
at him, shocked as his eyes closed. A split second later, she had
the phone in her hand. She quickly dialled 9-1-1 as new tears streamed
down her face. “Don’t do this to me, Giles...”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
She found
herself pacing back and forth across the hospital waiting room. It had to
be close to 90 degrees, yet she wrapped her arms around herself to fend off the
chill in her bones.
‘Giles has
been hurt before. He’s always come through. He’ll be okay. He
will.’
She
stopped long enough to stare down the empty hall.
‘But, I’ve
never been the one to hurt him before. What if I’ve...’
“Buffy?!”
She turned
towards the voice of her best friend. “Will...”
Seeing her friend’s red, but dry, eyes, Willow gasped. “No, not...please
tell me no...”
Buffy
crossed to her quickly, wrapping her arms around Willow. “He’s
not...he’s...” Buffy sniffed, but no tears fell. “It’s my fault,
Willow.”
“Buffy,
no. Things happen. I’m sure you tried to protect him.” She
looked up as Xander walked into the waiting room. “He’s going to be okay,
Buffy. We’ll find the demon who did...”
Buffy
stiffened and pulled away from Willow. She looked down at the ground,
unable to meet the eyes of her friends. “It wasn’t a demon.”
“Vampire?”
Xander asked quietly as he stood tall beside Willow. “Because, hey...we
have the means and the knowledge to take care of a vam...”
Buffy’s
quiet admission interrupted him. “It was me.”
She braved
a quick glance at her friends, finding their faces masked with confusion.
“I didn’t mean to...but...I...”
Xander
nodded slowly. “So, you were training and you accidentally...”
Buffy
shook her head. “No, we weren’t training.” She shivered from the
cold that only she could feel and looked back down the hall, wishing that the
doctor would come back and tell her something, anything. “We...we were
arguing.”
“So, you
hit him?” Xander asked, not quite believing what Buffy was saying.
“Must’ve been some argument.”
“I kicked
him. I told him that...if he said...I’d knock him into the next
room. I was so angry. He was so angry. He said it...and I did
it.” Buffy slumped into the nearest chair, her head in her hands as the
tears finally came again. “I broke two of his ribs...”
Willow and
Xander sat down on either side of her. Xander gently patted her
back. “Ribs heal Buffy. You got him here quickly, they’ll tape him
up, he’ll be good as new.”
Buffy ran
her hands through her hair as she sat up. “That was yesterday afternoon,
Xander. And yes, I did get him here. And they did tape him
up. But...”
Willow’s eyes
widened as she looked at Buffy. “What happened then? Why is he back
there now?”
“I...he
tripped...over the coffee table. He fell...I tried to catch him.
But...I missed. I missed him.” Buffy laid her head on Willow’s
shoulder, letting the tears come freely now. “I should have...I didn’t
catch him.”
Giles
opened his eyes, immediately squinting them against the bright light in the
room. “Buffy?”
“Mr.
Giles?”
Giles’
brow furrowed at the strange voice. “You’re not Buffy...”
The doctor
chuckled lightly. “No, Mr. Giles, I’m not. My name is Dr.
Tansten. Your friend brought you in a couple of hours ago. Can you
tell me what happened?”
Giles
licked his dry lips and braved the light, slowly opening his eyes.
“I...tripped over the table. Fell...hit the floor.”
The doctor
nodded. “Yes. And it seems that you’ve damaged your ribs even
further. Nearly punctured a lung with your fall.”
“That was
suave...” Giles muttered under his breath. “Tell the girl you love
her, then end up in the hospital. Good job, Giles.”
“Excuse
me?”
Giles
shook his head lightly. “Nothing, doctor. Just the musings of a
foolish man.”
“Hm,
yes.” The doctor made a quick note in Giles’ chart. “You have a few
people here to see you.”
Giles
narrowed his eyes and looked up at the doctor. “I do?”
Dr.
Tansten glanced over at the monitor, a smile playing in his eyes.
“Yes. Would you like me to send them in?”
Giles took
as deep a breath as he possibly could and nodded silently.
The doctor
smiled brightly at him and placed the chart into the bracket hanging on the
wall. “Alright, I’ll send a nurse down to retrieve them.”
Giles
narrowed his eyes as an image of a golden retriever fetching Buffy popped into
his mind. He looked down at the i.v. needle in the back of his hand and
then followed the tubing to the bag hanging on the stand next to his bed.
“What’s in
that?”
The doctor
followed Giles’ gaze. “Demerol. Is it not strong enough for the
pain?”
Giles
shook his head slowly. “No, the pain is fine. Just some strange
images…” He met the doctor’s eyes and smiled lightly. “All is
well. I would very much like to see my friends, however.”
The doctor
chuckled again and exited the room, closing the door behind him. Giles
took the time to try to form the words that he wanted to say to Buffy. He
found that he was having extreme difficulty in the normally minor task of word
formation.
“Shouldn’t
be this hard.” He grumbled to himself.
Hearing
the click of the door, he turned his head towards the doorway. A brief
smile touched his lips as
Willow
rushed to his bedside, quickly taking in the fact that he was hooked up to a
few monitors and had an i.v. placed in the back of his hand. “Giles!”
She leaned
over and carefully gave him a hug. “I was so worried that...well, that...”
Giles
smiled, soothing her fears. “I’ll be okay, Willow. It really isn’t
as dire as it seems at the moment.” He lifted up his hand, showing her
the i.v. needle. “This helps.”
Xander
chuckled. “Obviously whatever they’re giving you is pretty good
stuff. And…maybe next time you’ll think twice about arguing with the
Chosen One.”
Buffy bit her
lip while Giles softly cleared his throat. “Yes, well...it wasn’t exactly
planned. My theory was correct though.”
Willow
tilted her head slightly as she looked down at him. “Theory?”
Giles
licked his lips, giving Buffy a glance before looking back up at Willow.
“At least I know without a doubt that Buffy will be able to take care of
herself when...”
Buffy
quickly shook her head and spoke one word. “No.”
Three
pairs of eyes turned towards her, suddenly making her feel even more
uncomfortable than she already was. She stared at Giles, frustration
tinting her eyes. “You’re not.”
Willow and
Xander exchanged a look of confusion before casting their eyes back to their
friend. “He’s not...what?”
Buffy
refused to divert her gaze from her Watcher. “Leaving. He’s not
leaving.”
Willow
quickly turned back to Giles. “Leaving? No, Giles, you can’t
leave. You just...can’t.”
Giles held
Buffy’s gaze as he gently patted Willow’s arm. “Buffy, I really think
that I...”
Buffy
straightened and walked with purpose closer to his bed. “That you should
go to sleep. Rest, let the medicine do what it needs to do. We’ll
talk about this later.”
With that,
she took a deep breath and strode out of the room.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Buffy
re-entered the room less than an hour later to find him resting
comfortably. She combed her fingers lightly through his hair, regretting
all of the times she had hurt him.
Her mind
ran through all of the snide comments she had directed towards him over the
years…as well as the most recent incident. It was the first time that she
had physically hurt him out of anger. Not only had she hurt him, he was
now lying in a hospital bed. And…that was her fault.
“God,
Giles…I’m so sorry. I really am.” She whispered softly. “You probably
can’t hear anything I’m saying, but…”
She pulled
a chair to his bedside and sat down. “I need you to know that I never
really meant to hurt you. I was such a brat when I was younger and said,
and did, a lot of stupid things. You always forgave me. You always
stood by me…until I decided I didn’t need you anymore. And you know
what? That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”
She sighed
softly. “I do need you. I needed you then, but pushing you away was
to prove to you that I didn’t.”
“What a
brilliant plan that was, huh?” She shook her head in frustration. “I
don’t want you to leave, Giles.”
She moved
her small hand into his larger one and squeezed lightly. “I do love you,
Giles. I really, really do. And…I’ll tell you all of this again
when you’re awake. Consider this a practice run, okay? I’m really
not good with relationship things, you know. But…I want to give us a
try. I’m sure I’ll make all kinds of Buffy-sized mistakes, but…I love
you.”
She licked
her dry lips and sat back, waiting for Giles to wake up.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Giles woke
a few hours later to find Buffy asleep in a chair next to him, her hand resting
on the bed next to his. A sudden rush of emotions – love, sadness,
adoration – flooded over him. Gently, he lifted his hand, allowing his
fingers to lightly brush across her skin.
He was
intently staring at her hand when she opened her eyes.
“Giles?”
He exhaled
slowly. “Buffy, I...I’m so sorry. I...never should have told
you...my true feelings. It has just made the situation much
more...” He paused, searching for the word.
The word
never came as Buffy gently placed her hand on his. “How long have you
known?”
Giles
closed his eyes and sighed, wishing he could go back a few days in time.
“Buffy...”
She shook
her head, her resolve face firmly in place. “How long, Giles?”
Opening
his eyes, he stared at the ceiling. “Since the first time I almost lost
you. Far too long.”
“You...didn’t
say anything.”
Giles
chuckled unhappily. “You were sixteen. I was responsible for your
well-being. And...you were with Angel.”
“Would you
have told me if I hadn’t been in love with Angel?”
Giles
shook his head slowly. “No. No, I wouldn’t have.” He took a
deep breath. “I was put in charge of you. To teach you. I was
brought here to be your Watcher, not your...” His eyes closed
briefly. “A Watcher should not have deep emotional feelings about his
Slayer.”
Quietness
settled over the room for a few minutes. Each searching for the right
words to speak. Finally, she broke the silence.
“Has it
ever happened before?”
“You were
my first Slayer, Buffy.”
Buffy
leaned forward, her fingers nervously picking at the sheet. “No, with
other Watchers and Slayers. Has it happened before?”
Giles
turned his head and looked into Buffy’s eyes. “It has. With most
disastrous results.”
“Disastrous?”
He shifted
in the bed and turned his eyes towards the ceiling. “One incident comes
to mind immediately. Peter Toscano – he was a Watcher from 1827 until
1832. He fell desperately in love with his Slayer, and she with
him. He did his best to protect her. The problem was she was too
focused on him and not the battle at hand. In the end, they both
died.”
He
swallowed the lump in his throat and continued softly. “I couldn’t bear
the thought of losing you because I was too caught up in my emotions to
properly protect you.”
“So...”
She exhaled slowly. “You thought it would be best to leave
altogether? How would you be able to protect me if I’m here and you’re in
England?”
“You are
very capable of protecting yourself these days, Buffy. And...it was
getting more difficult to hide my true feelings from you.” He clenched
his jaw momentarily. “I...I saw the fear in your eyes when I...when you
realized...”
“That you
love me?” She asked quietly. She watched him carefully as he nodded
silently, his eyes glistening. “Giles...”
“Buffy,
there’s no need...”
She
interrupted him quickly. “You got it wrong, Giles. All
wrong.” She paused for a few seconds before taking a breath and
continuing. “Yeah, I was afraid, but not because you love me.
Giles, I...I was scared because I...I thought maybe I was wrong…that I heard
you wrong.”
His eyes
shifted to hers, full of questions. There were too many questions in his
head, so he picked the first one that entered his mind.
“What?”
She
continued on, her words rambling quickly out of her mouth. “And then
you...you backed away from me. I saw the...the coffee table. I
tried to catch you, Giles...I tried. But, I missed...I was so close, but
missed you. You could have punctured your lungs...or...your
heart...or...Giles, you could have died. And I never would’ve been able
to...to tell you.”
“Tell
me?” His voice was a mere whisper.
“Giles, I
can’t let you leave. Not now. Not when I’m just finding
out...” New tears spilled over her eyelids.
“Finding
out?”
“I’d
almost given up. For so long, I’ve been looking for a sign. Any
sign. There were times...I thought I’d see something. But...then it
would disappear. I thought it was my imagination.”
Giles felt
a lump beginning to form in his throat again as he held his tears at bay.
“Buffy...”
“And then
you told me that you should probably leave...”
“I was
angry, frustrated. It was becoming too difficult to control.”
“And I
lost it. I broke two of your ribs because you were leaving me.
You...” She choked back a sob as she continued. “You were leaving
me.”
His
fingers tightened around hers. “I thought I was doing the right thing,
Buffy. I thought it was the only way.”
“The only
way?”
“The only
way to keep you safe.” His hand lifted up and his fingers lightly brushed
her tears from her face. “Toscano was unable to keep his Slayer safe because
of his feelings. I want you to be safe.”
Shakily,
she stood up and leaned over him slightly. Her trembling hand wiped away
a tear that had rolled down his cheek. “We...can keep each other safe.”
His heart
pounded in his chest as she leaned closer to him, brushing her lips lightly
across his. “Don’t leave me, Giles.”
He kissed
her back, a gentle, but not hesitant kiss.
Giles
watched Buffy sleep, his fingers playing with her blond hair with a smile on
his lips. He thought over the last two months. His release from the
hospital, his recuperation from his injuries, waking up with Buffy beside of
him every morning.
She had
practically moved in on the day he came home from the hospital, insisting that
she take care of him. He smiled as he remembered the way she looked after
him, nursing him back to health.
They had
kept their budding relationship quiet for a couple of weeks. Not because
they were worried what their friends would think, but because they simply
wanted to savour the newness of it themselves. He sighed softly at the
memory of their revelation to the others.
They had
been researching a particularly nasty demon that Buffy had encountered the
previous night. He was sitting at his desk, flipping through an ancient
volume, when Buffy placed a mug of tea down beside of him. He looked up
to find her smiling at him. He returned her smile and then gently pulled
her down for a tender kiss.
Her
fingers ran through his hair as she returned the kiss, quickly dipping her
tongue into his mouth before pulling away slowly. Her fingers lingered in
the soft locks as she stood back up and his hand rested on her hip as they
turned towards their friends, shy smiles plastered on both of their faces.
Once the
initial shock had worn off,
When Buffy
asked him if he was okay, he stopped pacing and darted his eyes between the two
of them. After a moment, he nodded slowly and stated that he was
fine…somewhat shocked and definite that he’d never get the image of her kissing
Giles out of his head…and then he had asked her if she was happy.
Giles
grinned as he recalled with perfect clarity the next exchange between the two.
“I love
him, Xander. And…this is real. Very real and very…permanent.
He’s the one. Just like Anya’s the one for you.”
Xander
was quiet for a few seconds and then smiled. “I get that, I do.
Just…give me a few days to get used to it before you start kissing in front of
me again.”
He curled
a strand of blond hair around his finger as his mind suddenly turned towards
the first time she had seen him aroused.
It was an
innocent enough experience. She had told him that she loved him and then
caressed the side of his face. His arousal was instantaneous. A
mere touch of her hand was enough. It had stunned her, even though he had
told her that he was quite used to the sensation of being turned on around her.
He had
wanted to make love with her that night. She politely said no. Not
that she didn’t want to, but that she was afraid of hurting him. His ribs
were still mending. He tried to assure her that he was fine, but she had
made up her mind. Watching her sleep now, he realized that he wanted
nothing more than to wake her up and show her that he was completely healed.
That’s not
to say that they didn’t know their way around each other’s bodies. There
had been fondling and oral encounters, touch and taste and kissing…but, she had
never allowed it to go any further afraid of setting his recuperation
back.
His eyes
glazed at the memory of her telling him that it would be beneficial to both of
them to wait until the doctor gave the green light.
Her hands
and mouth on his body never failed to make him happy. However, he wanted
more. He wanted to feel her muscles clamping down on him while she
climaxed. He wanted her to feel his cock pressing against that special
spot with each thrust. He wanted to feel her hot juices coating him as
he...
He moved
his hand down and gently squeezed the shaft of his erection, putting a halt to
his impending orgasm. He groaned softly, then bent his head and placed a
tender kiss on her forehead.
He smiled
as she mumbled his name and snuggled closer to him. He leaned over her,
kissing her lips gently. He pulled back in time to watch her eyes slowly
open.
“Hi...”
She smiled lazily up at him.
“Hello.”
He leaned back on his elbow, his head resting against his head as he looked
into her eyes. “Good dreams?”
She moved
closer to him, snuggling against his chest. “Mm. Yeah.”
He let his
hand wander slowly down her bare body, letting it rest on her hip. His fingers
traced small circles against her skin. “Buffy...”
She placed
a soft kiss on his chest before she looked up at him. “Hm?”
“I...it’s
been two months.”
She smiled
as she reached down between their bodies, her hand instantly finding his
erection. “What were you thinking about?”
His eyes
closed, a groan escaping his lips as his head fell back onto the pillow.
“You...”
She gently
squeezed the hardened flesh, licking her lips when he gasped. “What about
me?”
He licked
his lips as her hand began to slowly manipulate him. Sliding up and down,
changing her pressure here and there. He groaned again as her thumb slid
across the head. “I...uh...there is nothing...about you that...doesn’t do
this...to me...”
She
grinned, leaning forward and running her tongue across his chest. She
stopped at one of his nipples, lightly nipping at it with her teeth before
sucking it into her mouth as she continued her manual assault on his erection.
“Oh, dear
Lord...Buffy...”
She smiled
against his skin, releasing his nipple from her mouth. Moving up his
body, she kissed him passionately. She let out her own groan as his
tongue invaded her mouth. He thrust his tongue against hers with the same
rhythm that her hand was keeping.
His left
hand found her breast, his fingers rolling and gently pinching her
nipple. His chest rumbled with lust as she whimpered into his
mouth.
In one
swift motion he had rolled her onto her back. He was leaning over her in
a way that still gave her access to his now raging hard-on, but also allowed
him to bend his head slightly and pull one of her nipples into his mouth.
His left
hand gently pushed her thighs apart, his fingers easily finding their way to
her swollen lips. She moaned loudly as his fingers spread her lips,
allowing his thumb to brush across her clitoris. His middle finger easily
slid into her as his thumb pressed lightly against the hardened nub. Her
hips thrust up against his hand as his name rolled off of her tongue.
His mouth
released her nipple, moving up to reclaim her mouth. Their scorching kiss
lasting until they physically needed to break for a breath. They stared
at each other through lust-filled eyes.
“Buffy...I
need you...” He said breathlessly.
She
lightly placed her hand on his chest. “I don’t want to hurt you...”
He smiled
sweetly and moved his body between her thighs, supporting himself above her
with his hands resting on the bed on either side of her waist. “You
won’t.”
She
shuddered involuntarily as he suggestively pressed his hips forward, letting
his erection slide across her clitoris. “Rupert...”
He stopped
his motion and stared at her. “That sounded…odd.”
She
narrowed her eyes and nodded. “Yeah, it really did. You okay if I
stick with ‘Giles’?”
“Mm-hm.”
He mumbled softly and resumed his movement.
“Giles…wait…what
if – ”
He shook
his head and pressed again. “No ‘what ifs’ darling. You won’t hurt
me.” He leaned down and sucked her bottom lip into his mouth
briefly. “What if I promise you something?”
Her hips
arched towards him as he pressed harder against her. “What?”
“If I
feel...” His eyes closed as her nails lightly raked across his
nipple. “pain...any pain. I’ll stop.” His eyes found hers
again, gleaming with love and lust. “I promise.”
She pushed
herself up slightly and captured his lips with hers. Her fingers grasped
the back of his head, holding him against her as her tongue plunged into his
mouth. She felt, rather than heard, his moan as she slid her lithe muscle
against his. His teeth lightly scraped across her tongue when she slowly
pulled from the kiss and lay back until her head was resting on the pillow.
Her lips
pulled into a smile as she raised her legs, resting her knees against his
sides. “Make love to me, Giles.”
He held
her gaze as he shifted slightly, the head of his erection pushing gently
against her warm opening. “If you’re not sure, please tell me now...”
Her smile
lit up her eyes as her hand lifted to rest on the side of his face. “I’m
sure.”
He turned
his head slightly, pressing a kiss into the palm of her hand. He pushed
his hips forward, easing his way inside of her. They both gasped
simultaneously at the sensation when he had fully entered her.
He
remained still, allowing her body to adjust. He waited for her to make
the first move. He felt her body tremble slightly, then her hips move up
towards him. He whispered a soft “I love you” before they fell into a
gentle, easy, and surprisingly familiar rhythm together.
She
groaned loudly as he brushed across her g-spot repeatedly. Her quivering
muscles gripped him tightly. He matched her groan with a loud one of his
own as she bucked her hips up, driving him deeper inside of her.
He bent
down, his lips finding her collarbone. He lightly nipped at it, sucking
her tender flesh into his mouth. Her fingers wound in the hair on the
back of his head, holding his mouth to her skin.
“Harder,
Giles...” She gasped.
For a
split second he wasn’t quite sure if she meant that she wanted him to thrust or
suck harder. She answered that quickly for him as she slammed her hips
upwards, forcing him to thrust harder.
He groaned
in ecstasy, letting her skin fall from his lips as he pushed himself up so that
he was practically kneeling between her thighs. His hands slid under her,
pulling her into a different angle so that he could penetrate her deeper and
harder. His fingers kneaded the firm flesh of her ass as he increased his
thrusts.
He felt
her inner walls contracting as she cried out, her hot juices flowing over him
as she reached orgasm. He rode out the waves of her climax, his eyes
focused on her face. Within a few seconds, he could feel a second orgasm
beginning. He held on as long as he could, slamming his body against
hers. He let go only as she screamed his name.
He fell
forward, capturing her mouth with his to stifle her screams. She
shuddered violently, feeling him flood her inner walls. Her hands slid
down his sweat-drenched back as she kissed him. Only when he was sure that
her screams had calmed did he release her mouth from his kiss.
She held
him close, keeping him inside of her for as long as possible. He gently
rolled them onto their sides, facing each other. She whimpered lightly as
his softening cock slipped from her grip.
She looked
into his eyes, raising a trembling hand to gently wipe the sweat from his
face. “Are you...”
He
chuckled softly, brushing her damp hair back from her face. “I’m fine,
Buffy. Are you?”
She
grinned, nodding slowly. “Mm...better than fine. You are...I never
thought, even in my wildest dreams...” She licked her lips, her fingers
playing with the wet curl of hair above his ear. “The things you make me
feel...”
His chest
still rising and falling heavily, he leaned forward and kissed her lips.
“You’re absolutely amazing.”
“Why did
we wait so long?”
He
laughed, his fingers twirling a strand of her hair. “Because you kept
saying that I wasn’t medically sound.”
“No...”
She shook her head gently. “I mean...we’ve felt this way about each other
for so long. Why did we wait?”
His eyes
took on a serious turn. “Timing. The timing wasn’t right.” He
lightly stroked her bare back with his fingers. “There was always
something in our way. People, events, demons, a few apocalypses...”
She nodded
silently in agreement.
“But...then
you kicked me through a doorway.” He offered her a playful grin, which
widened as she began to laugh.
He gently
rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him. She raised an eyebrow
when she felt him twitch beneath her.
He smiled
knowingly, letting his hands rest on her hips. “You did ask me one time
what a stevedore is…”
Her hands
covered his as she rocked her hips, rubbing herself against his quickly
hardening flesh. “I think I’m kinda getting the picture. Do
stevedores have as much stamina as a Slayer?”
He
chuckled as he lifted her up, allowing himself to enter her again. “One
way to find out.”
She
grinned at him before closing her eyes in pleasure. “Or…two or three…”
~ End