Title: Love and
Hope
Author: Froxyn
Rating: FRM
Pairing:
Buffy/Giles
Timeline: S5, the
night before The Gift.
Synopsis: Giles
makes a promise he isn’t sure he can keep.
Author’s Note:
This is a Time Stamp fic requested by laurtew. Thanks to wyvernwolf for being a wonderful
beta!
Buffy opened the door
to Giles’ apartment and rushed in. She
stopped suddenly as her eyes found him. In
less than three seconds, she noticed two things.
First, Giles was not
well. He was holding on to the top of
the stool for support as his free hand pressed against the wound in his
side. Second, he was determined not to
let her see his pain. As soon as he
heard the door open, he looked up. And
as soon as he saw her, he dropped his hand and stood up straight…plastering a
small smile on his face.
“Buffy…”
“You’re in
pain.” Buffy stated, running over to him
as he pushed away from the stool. “Xander
said you were okay…but, you’re not.”
“I’m fine,
Buffy.” He answered softly. “How are you?”
She looked up at him
and shook her head. “No deflecting,
Giles. You know how I am. My sister has been taken by a God so that she
can rip reality apart…you know exactly how I am.”
“Yes.” He whispered and then cleared his
throat. “I, um…I’ve been doing some more
research…”
“I’m not killing her,
Giles.” She announced firmly. “I’m not going through this again.”
“I know.” He sighed as he looked down at the clothes he
had hastily pulled on after his shower.
“I…let me change my clothes and I’ll go over my newest findings with
you. I think we can work your idea of
using the BuffyBot into the plans…”
“You’re not going to
suggest I sacrifice Dawn?”
“No. Not again.”
He gestured towards the stairs.
“I’ll be right back. If you
wouldn’t mind, could you put the kettle on?”
“Sure.” She whispered, watching him as he walked away
and climbed the stairs.
Most people wouldn’t
notice the slightly firmer hold he had on the railing. But, she did.
He was in pain…and he was hiding it from her. As he moved out of her sight, she glanced
towards the kitchen.
He wanted tea.
No…he wanted to keep
her busy while he composed himself.
With that thought in mind,
she ran up the stairs and into the bedroom.
Her eyes filled with tears almost instantly when she saw him. His hand was pressed to his side again…his
body leaning heavily against the wardrobe.
“Giles?”
“I’m…fine.” He choked out, unable to stop the tremble in
his voice.
She rushed over and
slipped her arm around him for support.
“No, you’re not!”
He protested only
lightly as she manuevered him to the bed and gently lowered him down. “Buffy, please…”
“Lay down.” She ordered softly, exhaling deeply. “Why would you keep this from me?”
He stretched out on
the bed, giving a sigh of relief as the pain eased. “You have so much to deal with right
now. You didn’t need to deal with this
as well.”
She stared at him
incredulously, sitting down next to him…carefully so as not to jar him too
much. “What?”
“Dawn’s
abduction…Glory’s agenda…you have too much right now. I can’t allow myself to add to your – ”
“So you’d rather me
think all is well?”
“I didn’t want you to
worry.” He offered, lowering his eyes
from hers.
She was quiet for a
moment and then lifted her hand to his cheek.
“I always worry about you, Giles.”
His eyes darted back
to hers as he unconsciously leaned into her touch. “I know.”
“Let me see.” She whispered, allowing him to see in her
eyes the emotions that she had carefully hidden away months earlier.
He inhaled sharply at
the realization of her feelings. He
wasn’t sure if she meant for him to let her see his own feelings or the healing
wound. So, he swallowed thickly and lowered
his defences, allowing her to see what he’d kept hidden for so long.
She smiled softly and
ran her thumb along his cheek. “Well,
that’s a relief…but, I actually meant where you’re hurt.”
“Oh.” He murmured, shuddering lightly as she pushed
his t-shirt up. “Buffy…”
“Shh.” She sat back and looked down at his side…and
the large bandage covering his skin.
“It’s not as bad as
it would appear by looking at that. The
doctor at the ER was a bit bandage-happy, I believe.” He offered as her eyes widened.
Buffy bit her bottom
lip and gently pulled the tape holding the gauze in place. When he jerked softly, she looked up at him.
“I’m sorry.”
He offered her a
smile and shook his head. “That didn’t
hurt…”
She continued, but
maintained his gaze. “I never knew you
were ticklish.”
“I’m not.” He replied cryptically, glancing down at her
hand as she pulled the last bit of tape off.
“You…don’t have to do this, Buffy.”
“Yeah, I do.” She answered, carefully peeling the gauze
from his skin. “I wish you had told me
that it still hurts.”
“It really
doesn’t…just a twinge once in a while.”
She looked at him in
disbelief and carefully pressed her fingers along the outer edge of the
wound. When he didn’t flinch, she raised
an eyebrow.
“That didn’t hurt?”
“No.”
She lowered her eyes
and sighed. “It really doesn’t
look all that bad now. You have super
Slayer healing too?”
To her surprise, he
chuckled. “Considering the fact that I’m
not a Slayer, I believe the answer to that question would be ‘no’.”
“But?” She raised her eyes to his, sensing there was
more.
His chuckled ended
quickly. “My healing rate isn’t as high
as yours…but it is elevated. A
perk of being a Watcher.”
Her eyes
widened. “Really? Well…that would explain how you can have so
many head injuries and not be a vegetable.”
He smiled and then
gazed into her eyes. “Talk to me.”
When he saw her
confusion, he continued…his voice soothing.
“I think we both need to have our minds taken off of the current crises
in our lives. I just…want you to talk to
me. About what you’re feeling, what
you’re thinking, what…”
“I love you.”
He closed his eyes
briefly. “And I love you.”
“Giles?” She whispered, urging him to look at her.
He glanced at her
hand and then met her eyes. “Perhaps you
should move your hand…”
She kept still for a
moment and then moved quickly, slipping her fingers under the waistband of the
sweatpants he was wearing. He caught her
wrist and narrowed his eyes slightly.
“That isn’t exactly
what I meant.”
“I know.” She replied, lowering her head and placing
soft kisses around the wound.
He reached down with
his free hand, intending to gently pull her up.
However, just as his fingers touched her hair, her tongue flicked
against his skin. Instead of pulling her
up, his fingers slipped into her hair and held her where she was.
“Christ!” He groaned as she repeated the action.
Feeling his hold on
her wrist loosen slightly, she edged her fingers closer to his now obvious
erection. She stopped when she heard him
hoarsely say her name…she didn’t fail to notice the warning tone in his voice.
She lifted her head
and looked up at him. “What’s wrong?”
He took a deep breath
and pulled his fingers from her hair.
“What is this?”
She furrowed her brow
and sat back up, leaving her left hand where it was…her fingertips just barely
touching the coarse hair covering his groin.
“I…you said you love
me. And I saw it…in your eyes, I saw
it…you…”
“Shh.” He whispered, grabbing her arm and quickly
pulling her to him. He nearly groaned as
her hand slipped out from under the waistband of his pants, her fingertips
grazing his torso as he wrapped his arms around her. “God, I do love you. Don’t you understand?”
“No.” She answered quickly, staring into his eyes.
He licked his lips
nervously and rolled onto his side, ignoring the very slight twinge of pain as
he faced her. “What is this?”
Her eyes glistened as
she read the true meaning of his question in his eyes. “I might die in this. You…you might die. We all might die if I can’t stop Glory.”
“Comfort, then?” He whispered, gently caressing the side of
her face with his fingertips.
“No.” At his arched eyebrow, she sighed. “Maybe a little, but…mainly it’s because I
love you. As in…I’m in love with
you, Giles. And…I want to make love
with you…because we might not get another chance.”
His brow
furrowed. “We’ll have other chances,
Buffy.”
“You don’t know that.” She whispered sadly. “If you don’t want to…or if you think it’s
too soon…I’ll understand. It’s just…I
have a horrible feeling about all of this and…”
When she trailed off,
he saw the sadness and fear in her eyes.
“And what, love?”
“I don’t want to die
knowing I’m in love with you and I didn’t do anything about it.” She lifted her hand and traced his lips with
her fingertips. “Will you at least kiss
me?”
“We’ll win this
battle, Buffy.” He stated with more
conviction than he actually felt. He
knew that he couldn’t truthfully make a promise such as this…but, for some
reason he couldn’t stop himself.
“Please kiss
me.” She responded, her voice
wavering.
She knew that he
wasn’t really sure about the outcome of the impending battle. But, she also knew that he would do
everything in his power to make sure things turned out as well as they could.
He gazed into her
eyes for a few more moments before sliding his hand down to her hip and
brushing his lips across hers. The
moment their lips touched, he knew that it wouldn’t stop there. He couldn’t stop it…he didn’t want to stop
it.
And so he didn’t stop
her when she rolled onto her back and pulled her with him. He did pause long enough to assure her that
he was not in any pain. And he wasn’t…he
felt no pain, only love.
They slowly undressed
one another, fingers and lips exploring one another’s skin. When Giles settled between her thighs and
felt her hands glide over his back, he smiled and whispered his love for her
again.
And as he pushed his
hips forward, slowly entering her, he watched the fear and sadness disappear
from her eyes. Tonight was about them,
about love, and about hope.
They could deal with
the real world tomorrow.
~ End